otp-overload:

hikikomoiri:

Being told I look cute

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Not even joking that is 100% accurate

tinadayton:

I would just like to say fuck you to everyone who made me feel inadequate growing up and ruining my self esteem for years. You all suck and I’m glad I don’t talk to any of you any more. 

elijahkrantz:

I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit

thepacificrimjob:

vanillastopbath:

thepacificrimjob:

back when i was in community college my teacher told us the story of a girl in his class who wanted to have sex with her boyfriend but they didnt have any lube so they used mayonnaise. fast forward a couple of days and she’s getting random orgasms during class and driving places so she goes to the doctor and they check her out and guess what they found

guess

okay ill tell you it was maggots. maggots were in her vagina giving her orgasms. 

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bullied:

we live in a world where pizza gets to your house before the police.

(Source: bullied)

naughty-chekov:

no mom I don’t want a boyfriend I want a kingdom

hawti:

Gym Instructor: So what’s your favourite machine to use here at the gym?

MeThe Vending Machine