• me to all my friends: YOU CAN DO IT. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER. COME ON!!!
  • me to myself: you fucking piece of shit you will amount to nothing nothing is worth it your feelings are irrational go sleep for 22 hours
  • pinkisthenewscarlet:

    i-spooky-like-fedex:

    skellagirl:

    parallelsea:

    October

    OCTOber

    it’s the 8th month

    I cracked the code

    October is the 10th month though

    It was originally the 8th month but then Julius fucking Caesar decided to add in July and August after himself and his nephew Augustus

    we should totally just stab caesar

    (Source: parallelseaarchive)

    Rihanna wouldn’t put up with your shit so neither will I
    ― an ancient proverb (via curiovsly)
    A Guide to Terminology as used by Western Males of the Species

    thescienceofjohnlock:

    societyghost:

    Prude - a woman who won’t fuck you

    Dyke - a woman who won’t fuck you because you have a penis

    Slut - a woman who fucks other people and not you

    Tease - a woman who won’t fuck you even though she smiled at you

    Feminist - a woman who won’t fuck you because she has, like, thoughts and stuff

    Bitch - a woman who treats you the same as you treat women

    bookmad:

    "fat girls shouldn’t—"

    —have to deal with your narrow minded bullshit.

    idcau:

    if you stare at me in public my self esteem will drop 100%

    writerlyn:

    wishuponastardis:

    Special skills: extensive Harry Potter knowledge, can watch an entire TV show in a week, knows words to every Disney song, can form abnormally strong attachments to fictional characters, Microsoft Word

    So you mean, able to retain knowledge, has incredible focus and drive, excellent at processing media, remembers obscure details when needed, and has great skill at creating connections with individuals despite minimal interfacing?

    And Microsoft Word?

    ifyoucarryonthisway:

    this is a serious question how do you get a boy to like you when theres always someone better like why would anyone ever pick a raisin out of a bowl of chocolate chips this is literally my biggest concern in life i am a raisin 

    (Source: averagefairy)

    scott-pilgrimage:

    whosromeo:

    i think it’s cute when someone admits they have a crush on you

    i think it’s a fucking miracle 

    vexingholmes:

    occupation: inappropriate friend who makes sexual jokes despite being a fucking virgin

    ninfia:

    Do you ever have that moment when a kid is looking at you and you realize that they’re looking at you as a grown up? Then its like no child im a children too, dont. Im sorry my outward appearance confuses you.